by Beth Riner, Messenger Staff Writer

Eighteen third graders from Sewanee Elementary School (SES) took a genteel stroll through the social graces at an afterschool etiquette camp last month sponsored by the newly created Plateau Etiquette Academy.

Lifelong Sewanee resident Jade Barry founded the academy along with Midway’s Sarah Rose Walker, her friend since the first grade when they were both students in Karen Vaughan’s class at SES. Vaughan, now a grandmother of two, actually helped her former pupils teach the camp.

Barry and her husband, Brandon, grew up in Sewanee but had never had any formal etiquette training. Both felt that lack keenly when they left college and entered the business world.

“We were just country kids not exposed to learning the social norms,” she explained.

Years later, as established professionals, Brandon, an engineer, and Jade, a dietician, wanted to make sure that their young son learned those important social skills at an early age.

“It gives kids the tools of what to do in a given situation,” Barry said. “It provides them confidence if they know what to do when the time comes, so education is so important.”

Other parents in the area felt the same way.

“Sarah and I have been saying for years that we wished we had had etiquette instruction offered to us,” she added.

The two friends joined forces to make it happen. Their former teacher was happy to be part of the program.

“Everyone needs to know how to behave well,” Vaughan said. “Manners are important. A knowledge of etiquette can open doors, increase self-confidence, and have a positive effect on others. I enjoyed working with the parents, some of whom were former students. Their enthusiasm for creating kind and respectful young men and women is admirable.”

Another friend, Mandi Oakes, designed the academy’s logo, and Barry worked with Aaron Welch from Big A Marketing to design and print instructional materials, including a mini-etiquette passport and a detailed place setting.

Other volunteers in addition to the Barrys, Walker, Oakes and Vaughan were Courtney Ramirez, Steve Burnett, and Tyler Walker. St. Mark & St. Paul Parish Church in Sewanee provided space for the classes at no charge.

Lessons covered during the afterschool sessions included communication arts of kindness, courtesy, and poise; thank-you note writing and gratitude; and table manners. Participants celebrated completion of the camp with their parents at a final high noon tea.

During the communications-arts session, students rotated through stations to earn stamps on their etiquette passports. Stations included shaking hands, making requests, holding doors open, making introductions, apologizing, and moving to the right side of the sidewalk when someone approaches.

As part of thank-you note writing, each student received a packet of personalized stationery. Prior to this session, parents filled out a Google form with pertinent information to write the thank-you note.

“That way when they got here, they were ready to write,” Barry explained. “We learned how to address an envelope—where everything goes—and we had a formula for writing a thank-you card.

Stations returned for the table-manners session.

“We kept it as interactive as we could, and I think it was really good,” Barry said. “One station was just on how to hold your utensils and cut. We had apples, so they had to cut apples.”

Students also learned to pull out chairs, use napkins, pass dishes, and indicate when they were finished eating or going to the restroom.

“There was a whole session on just putting together a place setting,” she added.

Cost of the etiquette camp was $75 per child, but scholarships were offered for children who could not afford the cost.

“We wanted to make it very inclusive so that if anybody wanted to do it, they could,” Barry said. “I would never have been able to pay for this as a child, and I would have probably never had access to it—ever. The fact that there could be some sort of mission to teach good manners, to teach social norms, and to give kids the tools on what to do in a given situation—it’s so important. It provides them confidence that they know what to do when the time comes. Wouldn’t it be nice if this was a thing for every kid across the Plateau?”

Barry, who hopes to see that happen, is working with community agencies to secure funding to offer etiquette instruction at other schools in the area.

“There’s only positive results from it—it’s giving kids tools for success,” she said.